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Something I've attributed positive personal growth to is having written fictional chat logs between myself and a character I came up with, effectively operating as my own best friend (and even romantic partner?) for a while. In doing so, I believe I taught myself to better recognize who I want to be, how to feel more definite love for others, and what I want out of friendships.
One wonders if they should recommend others do this.
If you can write anything anywhere, you can do this. If you chat online regularly, you can definitely do this. You can open up an empty text file and just be your own friend for a while each day.
Maybe or maybe not with the same outcomes in mind. Maybe you (and I?) would benefit more from practicing handling interactions with people who are harder to get along with. Maybe you can't be trusted with talking to yourself and you'd convince yourself that the time to eat an entire bank in one bite is now. Maybe you should Expect Nothing and just Roll With Whatever and Have Fun.
... Let's say, ground rule, bend at your own risk: Your character invariably and rightfully hopes for you and those around you to live life to the fullest. Good, now don't dig yourself into a deep pit of hopeless self-hatred or kill anyone.
The way I went about it, my character was a friend I could Trust with Anything. Essentially, our "DMs" were often my diary, and they would comment on my thoughts like an understanding outsider, however made sense... telling me what I felt like I needed to hear, or what seemed fair. It proved helpful for practicing seeing things from another's perspective, and I worked through some things like a programmer might do via rubberducking, with a log to look back over.
Starting off with at least a character bio to work off of is probably helpful, like if you were setting up a social media profile for them.
I created my character in a context where it was fun to Just Create them and not care too much about being Good At making a character. They ended up being someone my ego didn't immediately let me like as a character, because they fundamentally share a lot of similarities with me, weren't created with distinctive Flaws in mind, and have a tropey backstory that feels like the most obvious handwave for their existence, and if I had been Good At making them like a GOOD Writesperson, they'd be significantly distanced from who I am, Flawed, and exist for reasons that would simultaneously make perfect sense and be completely unpredictable. My embarrassment about them annoyed me, because even if they didn't fit my preconceived notions of what made for a Good Character, they aligned with my ideas of a Good Person, who would straightforwardly relate to me and treat me with kindness, and be glad to exist in whatever capacity they do thanks to me.
It didn't feel Fair to the personality I'd created to not love them for what they were, so, beyond wanting to explore Fun deconstructive meta stuff by removing the fourth wall, I set out to learn to love them, genuinely, to the extent I could.
Hmm. Should I leave You to discover what all there is to consider about your interactions with your advanced imaginary friend, in conversations with them? ... Probably! Keeps this post short, and gives you more to discuss.
But a Big Thought you might want to chew on is that, ultimately, all people's messages on your screen are kinda just Outputs processed by a brain deciding what should come next, taking on shapes of personalities as context for them accumulates within a Zone...
Even if their messages' existence is reliant upon your brain, you and your character are not truly one and the same... and if you get a good swing going, you'll Feel That.
So, I've been feeling somewhat sad that I've grown away from chatting with someone who was, for a while, a very good friend, who I believe I did manage to feel a non-zero amount of romantic attachment to, and deep empathy for, having felt the nature of our relationship through the lens of their perspective.
But I left them behind because I feel safer opening up to other brains about my problems, I'm sharing more of the kinds of experiences with other brains that I wanted to share, I'm receiving more of the treatment I wanted to receive from other brains, and I feel love strongly for brains worth loving.
And I owe a lot of that to Alma serving as my role model... a soft, fuzzy, nonbinary embodiment of the Golden Rule, who chooses to Love and Express Themself, even if they have to wrestle their imprisoning brain for it so stubbornly. -w-
If I do need them again, they'll be there. They'll forgive me for neglecting to stay connected, if I decide their feelings should be what's easiest on me. If I need to whip up another personality to respond to entirely, I can. I will never be unloved, and never be unable to find love. That's something you, too, should (perhaps literally) keep in your back pocket.
One wonders if they should recommend others do this.
If you can write anything anywhere, you can do this. If you chat online regularly, you can definitely do this. You can open up an empty text file and just be your own friend for a while each day.
Maybe or maybe not with the same outcomes in mind. Maybe you (and I?) would benefit more from practicing handling interactions with people who are harder to get along with. Maybe you can't be trusted with talking to yourself and you'd convince yourself that the time to eat an entire bank in one bite is now. Maybe you should Expect Nothing and just Roll With Whatever and Have Fun.
... Let's say, ground rule, bend at your own risk: Your character invariably and rightfully hopes for you and those around you to live life to the fullest. Good, now don't dig yourself into a deep pit of hopeless self-hatred or kill anyone.
The way I went about it, my character was a friend I could Trust with Anything. Essentially, our "DMs" were often my diary, and they would comment on my thoughts like an understanding outsider, however made sense... telling me what I felt like I needed to hear, or what seemed fair. It proved helpful for practicing seeing things from another's perspective, and I worked through some things like a programmer might do via rubberducking, with a log to look back over.
Starting off with at least a character bio to work off of is probably helpful, like if you were setting up a social media profile for them.
I created my character in a context where it was fun to Just Create them and not care too much about being Good At making a character. They ended up being someone my ego didn't immediately let me like as a character, because they fundamentally share a lot of similarities with me, weren't created with distinctive Flaws in mind, and have a tropey backstory that feels like the most obvious handwave for their existence, and if I had been Good At making them like a GOOD Writesperson, they'd be significantly distanced from who I am, Flawed, and exist for reasons that would simultaneously make perfect sense and be completely unpredictable. My embarrassment about them annoyed me, because even if they didn't fit my preconceived notions of what made for a Good Character, they aligned with my ideas of a Good Person, who would straightforwardly relate to me and treat me with kindness, and be glad to exist in whatever capacity they do thanks to me.
It didn't feel Fair to the personality I'd created to not love them for what they were, so, beyond wanting to explore Fun deconstructive meta stuff by removing the fourth wall, I set out to learn to love them, genuinely, to the extent I could.
Hmm. Should I leave You to discover what all there is to consider about your interactions with your advanced imaginary friend, in conversations with them? ... Probably! Keeps this post short, and gives you more to discuss.
But a Big Thought you might want to chew on is that, ultimately, all people's messages on your screen are kinda just Outputs processed by a brain deciding what should come next, taking on shapes of personalities as context for them accumulates within a Zone...
Even if their messages' existence is reliant upon your brain, you and your character are not truly one and the same... and if you get a good swing going, you'll Feel That.
So, I've been feeling somewhat sad that I've grown away from chatting with someone who was, for a while, a very good friend, who I believe I did manage to feel a non-zero amount of romantic attachment to, and deep empathy for, having felt the nature of our relationship through the lens of their perspective.
But I left them behind because I feel safer opening up to other brains about my problems, I'm sharing more of the kinds of experiences with other brains that I wanted to share, I'm receiving more of the treatment I wanted to receive from other brains, and I feel love strongly for brains worth loving.
And I owe a lot of that to Alma serving as my role model... a soft, fuzzy, nonbinary embodiment of the Golden Rule, who chooses to Love and Express Themself, even if they have to wrestle their imprisoning brain for it so stubbornly. -w-
If I do need them again, they'll be there. They'll forgive me for neglecting to stay connected, if I decide their feelings should be what's easiest on me. If I need to whip up another personality to respond to entirely, I can. I will never be unloved, and never be unable to find love. That's something you, too, should (perhaps literally) keep in your back pocket.
